Burwood Anglican Parish
Believing that laughter is an important part of the full life that God calls us to lead we offer these stories for a little light relief:
A little zen?
A budhist monk went to the dentist and refused to have any pain relief. He claimed he wanted to transcend dental medication.
The Road to Heaven?
This story has been attributed to the late Archbishop Brian Davis as being 'his last story' before he died in June 1998
An Anglican vicar was preparing for his sermon for a Day of Giving and wanted to make an impact. He remembered that he had a banner stored under the stage in the hall and went to find it. On fossicking through the stored treasures he found an old bottle with a note in it saying 'ONE MORE WISH'. He rubbed the bottle and a genie appeared saying, "Your wish is my command, master."
The vicar thought about this and said to the genie: "Build me a highway from the front of my church to the holy city of Jerusalem".
"That's a tall order", said the genie. "Isn't there something else you would like?"
The vicar rubbed his chin in deep thought and said "OK, I wish that all my parishioners would tithe their income so that our money worries will be over."
The genie considered this and responded, "Was that a two lane highway, or a four lane?"
Oh no, not another light bulb riddle ......
How many Anglicans does it take to change a light bulb?
Change?
Change?
My grandmother gave that light bulb!
..... and the cat came back ......
A stray cat made its home in a country pub and became a well loved pet of the patrons. One day the cat was struck by a car outside the pub and killed. The patrons missed the cat and often spoke fondly about it. A year after it was killed the publican was cleaning up the bar about midnight when it saw the ghost of the cat walk in, carrying its tail which had been severed in the accident.
"Well", said the publican, "I never expected to see you again."
"I had to come back", said the cat. "I cannot rest in peace whilst my tail is severed from my body. For old times' sake will you please help me?"
"What can I do?" asked the publican.
"Just re-attach my tail for me", replied the cat.
"That's the one thing I just can't do, said the publican. They would take my licence away if I did."
"How's that?" asked the puzzled looking ghost.
"My licence prohibits me from retailing spirits after 11 pm"
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